tells my kids he loves them. However, not to a woman. Marshall says he has trouble saying the "L world" to women. He said it was reserved for very special times. One time I think I got him to completely open up. He said "Dawg, I don't tell you this very often because its not my way, but I want you to know that you're my best friend and I love you. You're not gonna hear me say it all the time, but I really do care about you." Then he quickly changed the subject because he "hates this mushy shit!" The rest of the time he would say it to the kids and I when we left. "Goodbye, love you guys!" and that was about it. Maybe he felt pressured into saying that to her. He said she would say all the time "You don't love me!" He felt like he had to say "Yes I do!"

I got my hurt feelings sometimes when it came to Mariah. Mostly because I did not think, she treated him very well. There was more than one occasion when he asked me to come over and when I did, Mariah would call and he'd leave me sitting there for 2 hours while he went off to his office. Don't you know whom he called when shit hit the fan? When Mariah started with her breakdown and was calling him constantly saying weird things that didn't make sense, he called me. He said he had a CD burned of all the messages left on his cell phone by her. I never got around to listening to it, but he said she clearly sounded insane at the time of those messages.

Marshall said mainly. She talked about how Tommy Mattola was coming after. She said he was gonna kill her. She said she was disguised and hanging out in Harlem. She said Tommy had the phones bugged and that he would be coming after Marshall too. Then she went on and on about outer space and UFOs. Then she would change the subject and tell him how she wanted to announce to the world that they were in love. I believe Marshall was really freaked out! Once, after Marshall dodged her calls for days, she called his Aunt Betty on her cell phone. Betty said "Please Marshall. Talk to her, she says the cops were there to arrest her and they cut her!" He ended up talking to Mariah and found out that she cut herself on some broken plates. He eventually changed his home phone number, his aunt's cell and his own cell phone number.

Not to long after that, Betty started communicating to Mariah again. Marshall could not believe that she would still a friend with Mariah after all of that. "Everyone has a meltdown at some point in their life. Everyone has stress. You should be more understanding", Aunt Betty said. Marshall said he would never talk to her again. The last time they talked before she started melting down, she made a nasty comment when Marshall said he had to go tend to Hailie. That was the wrong move. Marshall was done. That didn't stop Betty from trying. One day in Marshall's room, he pulled a piece of paper off of his dresser. "Dawg, read this." It was a note from Mariah telling him that if he ever wanted or needed to talk, he can always give her a call, night or day. Marshall said there could be only one way that message got in his room. Could it be Mariah's girlfriend, Aunt Betty? Marshall acted like he didn't care. He crumbled it up and threw it away. I told him I knew she was gonna hurt him. He said I was wrong. He said he didn't get hurt because he never fully put his feelings out there to even get hurt. I wasn't convinced. I think he just felt like an asshole because he feel for her. He was probably embarrassed and his ego was bruised. He had to handle it his own way.

On his latest LP "The Eminem Show", Marshall mentions Mariah several times. Sometimes he says her name, like in the song "Say What You Say". Sometimes he just based most of a song on her and doesn't even mention her name. But you know who its about. At least I do because I've been right in the middle of it and I now how he feels about her now. The track "Superman", featuring Dina Rae, has him rappin about women in a degrading way and talks about how he can't and won't save them. He starts the song acting like he really digs the girl. "I know you want me baby, I think I want you too." They call me Superman; I'm here to rescue you...I'm here to save you girl, come be in Shady's world. Oh boy, you drive me crazy! Bitch, you make me hurl!" The song goes on to uncover things Mariah supposedly said like "Hailie Jade, I love that name! Love that tattoo, what's that say? Rot in Pieces, aw that's great!" He talks about how she never even knew him, so don't even try it! He threatens to slap her off her bar stool and says "Good Lordy Whoadie you must be gone off that water bottle! You want what you can't have. Oh girl that’s too damn bad.....Didn't mean to ruin your plans." And the chorus goes....."I do know one though, bitches they come they go. Saturday thru Sunday, Monday thru Sunday yo. Maybe I'll love you one day. Maybe we'll someday grow. Till then just sit your drunk ass on that fuckin' runway ho." I think that says it all. Tell me he never really had feelings for her! Yea right! Again Marshall proves that writing music is a form of therapy. I believe it's also about revenge. Fighting your demons with a pen. I think he's taught me well!

How he feels about Mariah now? Marshall acts as if he does with every woman he dumps, as if he cannot stand her. He watches her on MTV cribs and makes comments about how fat and disgusting she looks now. I asked him if she got the help she needed, would he try it again. He said "fuck no!" When Marshall ends a major relationship with a girl, there's no going back. It's done. Especially after he writes a fucked up song about her, anyway. Unless, of course, its Kim.

…thanks to Anti Kim Mathers Board for this part